Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters…
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end, and a fool on the other.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number Present.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest … except that he got caugh.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions