By: Yasser Shaker
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
“ Dr. Wayne Dyer
Please read this article in time of depression, dire & stress; when you feel down and want to motivate yourself but feel fatigue, lazy or helpless.
Throughout hard, anxiety and stress times, we feel that the current problems or situations are permanent and pervasive in all life dimensions. We stand helpless and powerless to make any effort to resolve the situation. This happens because our thoughts and explanation of the current event are so negative. Hence, the more we interpret and perceive them that way the more tragic and melancholic story we will create and eventually that will trigger negative emotions from our emotional brain “amygdale” that will support increasing cortisol and adrenaline and you will be more reactive compulsive.
That will weaken your immune system and leave you with total despair; reinforcing your negative explanation to the situation and so on with the negative spiral till you sink into total despair.
Sure you will try your best to overcome the adversity, but each time you try with the same thinking frame of reference you will fail because only the physical part working on solving this adversity. Each time you try and fail you will feel more pessimistic and that will lead to depression and you will begin to experience a state of disorder -not in normal behavior or habits- but also in sleep, feeding habits, work, sex and sense of security. Your deep two core emotions are based on fear or desire and both of them are essential for your survival and by now you will act up normally to maintain survival mode.
Positive thoughts: “Cognitive Behavior Therapy”
Recognize the automatic thoughts flitting through your consciousness at the time you feel worst. (——————————————————————————-)
Welcome any negative though-feel-action, STOP perceiving yourself as the VICTIM, write them down and acknowledge them (——————————————————–)
What did you learn from these negative emotions? The moral behind them, how they in light me? Forcing me to learn, change, acquire, dump and take care of other emotions? What these “friendly” emotions want me to see that I can’t see? Re-attribution to the same adversity to dispute your negative automatic thoughts (———————————————————)
What words, affirmation, colors, thoughts, places, people “role models” I will use them to distract my mind next time I feel these negative “friendly” feelings?(——————)
What is the hard evidence or proof that you feel that way? There is a big difference between the soft evidence that we sell to ourselves or people sell us and the real proof, alibi or believe. The more you indulge yourself in a quest for the core of your true feelings the least likely you will find hard evidence of them. Usually it is your victim feelings that enlarge the pessimism feelings. MY hard evidence/proof to MY adversity is (———————————————————————————-)
New Positive Frame:
Try & play “what if” looking at the adversity from the optimism explanation: this problem will pass “Temporary”- I will deal with it from separate mindset (if it is at work I will leave it their and if it is with my partner I will not export it to work, friends, family, or community. I will give this adversity a lot of time, attentions, energy and with God’s support I will pass “this also will pass- this also will pass”
Emotional freedom is your ability to choose your thoughts and emotions by your current conscious not your subconscious; your central freedom from other emotions or even your preconceiving emotions about the situation from free, fresh, new fragrance point of view. Moreover, it is your independency of choice of the current emotions and thoughts.
The more you argue, fight, blame, push away your emotions the bigger and larger they will seem, but the more you give a room and focus on peace and joy, the smaller and tinier they will occur. Stop feeding worry and afraid. Forgive someone, do authentic appreciation for someone -something everyday, proactive benevolence and make a “small act of kindness”.
You have to do positive small actions; think of your problem as Temporary, Isolated, Effort-possible and with this positive frame take a long meditation brisk walk starting with a breathing session. Each breath should be “long-deep-smooth”, feel each inhale as if you take the most pure energy-power & inner peace from the universe, it is like wiping off your inner stress & depression, and each excel take out part of your pain, sorrow, fear, stress, guilt, shame and anxiety.
The more you walk and breathe the more your CNS central nerve systems will balance and your emotional brain “amygdale” will produce Endorphins, serotonin & Dopamine “happiness –feeling good – anti depressant hormones”. Focus your attention on where you wish to go not on where you are programmed to go.
What kind of person you want to see yourself? Imagine yourself as “strong, vivid, confident, peaceful, serene, calm, composed, courageous, resourceful, secured, floating, believer, vital, joyful, fulfilled, ….etc. Add your list and imagine yourself as (—————————————————————————-)
Logo is a Latin meaning shape, or picture. The ultimate goal of our living is imbedded within us, once you discover it, you will have a great meaning to live for, I require you to think, meditate to get this great meaning of your life, the more you focus on it the more you will move from pessimism to optimism to achieve your meaning and everything will be temporarily, isolated and efforts will possible in comparison to your great meaning or “logo therapy”.
Now the feeling of guilt, fear, resentence, and victim is over. It is time to think of how with love, joy, appreciation and celebration you can take care of yourself and maintain a positive attitude towards life.
Now I will ask you to build your positive snow ball. Once you have positive thoughts and ideas that stimulate positive actions, take larger steps and build your own positive continuum & feel success within. That will consequently build your positive emotions and ideas and will create positive self-concept, self-esteem and give you more confidence.
Positive Defense Mechanism (paint):
Landscape your life picture; stretch your vision towards planned nurtured future. Use as much colors as possible, make your picture vivid, invigorated with energizing slogans and your previous achievements. Heal these wounds inside you by forgiving yourself and be sure that whatever your dilemma is, it will be over one day because change is a life trait.
Keep on working on your adversity; give it attention, energy and time. Believe you are good enough to solve it, you are the power, you are the problem, you are the key, you are the master, you are the inner peace, and you are the love and the joy of your life. Your success lies in doing what you love everyday; on doing your best up to the knowledge that there is no perfection. Be satisfied with what you have today and leave the future to the hands of GOD. Who knows what tomorrow may bring for us it could be better or worse. So live your day and enjoy it breathe AND LET GO. What a bless! I accept, respect and love myself as I am.