Real Sayings from the American Courts

The last two are the best:

ATTORNEY:    Now doctor isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know   about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:     Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY:   Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:     Would you repeat the question?


ATTORNEY:    She had three children, right?
WITNESS:     Yes.
ATTORNEY:    How many were  boys?
WITNESS:    None.
ATTORNEY:    Were  there any  girls?


ATTORNEY:    How  was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:     By  death.
ATTORNEY:    And by whose death was it  terminated?


ATTORNEY:    Can you describe the  individual?
WITNESS:     He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY:    Was  this a male or a  female?


ATTORNEY:   Do you recall the time that you examined  the body?
WITNESS:    The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY:   And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:     No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!


ATTORNEY:   Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY:   So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY:   How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:    Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:   But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:    Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


About Amr Badran

An Egyptian Business Consultant and Corporate Trainer since 1997. I've trained on Management, Leadership and Soft Skills to thousands of people from many nationalities, backgrounds and professions in more than 10 countries across the Middle and Far East. I've also provided my consultancy service for issues of Strategic Planning, Marketing, Sales and Capacity Building. Holder of an MBA and a Candidate for Doctorate in Business. Find more about my Management and Personal Skills Courses at and feel free contacting me at
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