7 Qualities of People with High Emotional Intelligence

E.I. determines how well you do at work. Do you have the traits that define it?

By: Rhett Power

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

At least that’s what Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., well-known writer and researcher on leadership who wrote the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, says. Goleman has dedicated his work to finding out what makes people successful. And, his title spoiling the surprise, he says it comes down to their emotional intelligence. That’s what drives a person to excellence.

What exactly is emotional intelligence (EI)? Psychology Today says it’s:

  1. The ability to accurately identify your own emotions, as well as those of others

  1. The ability to utilize emotions and apply them to tasks, like thinking and problem-solving

  1. The ability to manage emotions, including controlling your own, as well as the ability to cheer up or calm down another person

The concept of emotional intelligence has been around since 1990, when Yale psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey presented the concept to the academic world. But Goleman has gone on to study it further—and he found a direct relationship between the EI of a company’s staff and the company’s success:

  • Employees with a high level of EI have self-awareness that helps them understand co-workers and meet deadlines.

  • When people have high EI, they are not bothered by client criticism; they remain focused on outcomes, rather than feeling offended.

  • If two job candidates have similar IQs, the one with the higher EI will likely be a better fit for the company.

Like Goleman said, no amount of smarts will make up for a lack of the ever-important emotional and social abilities, especially as part of the professional world. Not sure how to recognize this essential trait?

Here are seven characteristics of emotionally intelligent people:

  1. They’re Change Agents

People with high EI aren’t afraid of change. They understand that it’s a necessary part of life—and they adapt.

  1. They’re Self-Aware

They know what they’re good at and what they still have to learn— weaknesses don’t hold them back. They know what environments are optimal for their work style.

  1. They’re Empathetic

The hallmark of EI, being able to relate to others, makes them essential in the workplace. With an innate ability to understand what co-workers or clients are going through, they can get through difficult times drama free.

  1. They’re Not Perfectionists

While extremely motivated, people with EI know that perfection is impossible. They roll with the punches and learn from mistakes.

  1. They’re Balanced

Their self-awareness means that they naturally know the importance of, and how to maintain a healthy professional-personal balance in their lives. They eat well, get plenty of sleep and have interests outside work.

  1. They’re Curious

An inborn sense of wonder and curiosity makes them delightful to be around. They don’t judge; they explore the possibilities. They ask questions and are open to new solutions.

  1. They’re Gracious

People with high EI know every day brings something to be thankful for—and they don’t see the world as “glass half-empty” as a lot of people do. They feel good about their lives and don’t let critics or toxic people affect that.

Emotionally intelligent people know how to make work, and the world, a better place. Are you one of them?

 

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7 Presentation Tips from the 2015 World Champion of Public Speaking

By: Richard Feloni

Delivering an effective presentation requires more than just self-confidence. It requires techniques that connect the speaker with the audience on a personal level and transmit a message that leaves them feeling satisfied.

To find out how to give an excellent presentation, we spoke with the 2015 Toastmasters International World Champion of Public Speaking, Mohammed Qahtani. Qahtani is a security engineer in Saudi Arabia who joined a Toastmasters club in 2009 on the recommendation of a friend.

He obsessively took to training to become the best speaker he could, and this year he survived seven rounds of a competition that lasted six months and included 33,000 competitors from around the world.

Qahtani and nine other finalists competed at the Toastmasters annual convention last month in Las Vegas. On August 15, he won for his speech “The Power of Words.”

He shared with us the advice that helped take him to the top:

  1. Tell yourself that you’re better than your audience

Qahtani grew up with a stutter and still deals with it occasionally, but speaking on a stage empowers him and rids him of the impediment. He said that his confidence grew from advice he received from a speaking coach, which was to tell himself that he’s better than the people in the audience.

“I don’t mean that in an egotistical way!” he said. Rather, he tells himself that he’s “better” in the sense that he’s courageously speaking in front of people who are sitting there to listen to what he has to say. It’s a mental shift that removes the fear of humiliation. “You don’t need to be afraid of them because they’re the ones admiring you,” Qahtani said.

  1. Determine your takeaway message and make it relevant throughout

When you write a speech, it should focus on a message that is as clear and succinct as possible. The message of Qahtani’s winning speech is simple: We must be conscious of the power our words can have over other people, for better or worse.

  1. Speak to your audience on a personal level

A friend once told Qahtani, “When you’re on the stage, the most important thing is the audience. Don’t care about how you look, where you are on the stage, how you sound — just care about the audience.”

Ideally, you have practiced your speech well enough that you look polished, but once you’re on the stage you shouldn’t be conscious about anything except speaking to the people in front of you. Speak from your heart, Qahtani said, and play off the energy of the audience.

  1. Play to your strengths

A fellow Toastmasters member once told Qahtani, “Some people are strong with their words, some people are strong with their voice, some people are strong with their stage presence. Your strength is humor. Use it.”

Qahtani dabbled in stand-up comedy as an undergraduate student at Arizona State University and tends to find humor in situations. If people didn’t find him funny, he wouldn’t use jokes in his speeches. It’s all about being authentic.

  1. Find a balance of emotions

Qahtani opened his speech with humor to get the audience laughing and relaxed, but he would have fallen into a stand-up act if he didn’t transition into moving personal anecdotes. Similarly, if he kept his entire speech heavy, his audience would have felt depressed or even bored rather than satisfied.

However you determine your speech will flow, Qahtani said, it’s important that you always leave your audience with a feeling of hope. They need to feel empowered by what you just told them.

  1. Practice as much as possible in front of an honest audience

The main benefit of joining Toastmasters is that it comes with a group of people who not only support you but who will give you frank feedback on what worked and what didn’t in your speech. If you’re not part of an organization like Toastmasters, practice your presentation in front of someone, or several people, who you know won’t sugarcoat their feedback.

Qahtani said there were elements of earlier drafts of “The Power of Words” that he was convinced were essential to his speech but that he eventually cut because they weren’t working with his audiences.

It’s important that you never dismiss someone’s opinion about your work-in-progress. “You write a speech for an audience, not yourself,” he said.

  1. Visualize rather than memorize your speech

If you try memorizing your speech word by word, your performance will suffer, Qahtani said.

He likes to visualize a map of certain points in his speech that he fills in during his performance. It’s about becoming comfortable with the material to a degree where you can casually talk about it.

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7 Powerful Questions to Help You Find Your Life Purpose

By: Amy Johnson

Do you know your life purpose? Many people earn a decent living, but would define success as much more than money. For many it is also about happiness, positive relationships and the ability to contribute to something you care about.

Here are 7 questions you should ask yourself if you are trying to discover your life purpose.

  1. What were you passionate about as a child?

What did you find emotionally fulfilling when you were younger? From writing to building figurines, children are actively encouraged to follow their passions. However, we often stop doing the things we were passionate about as a child. Often this is due to a lack of time, or pressure from society to pursue something that comes with a (often financial) reward.

Consider your childhood passions. Do you still practice your childhood passions? If not, why? Would you still feel passionately about the same things now?

  1. If you didn’t have a job, how would you choose to fill those hours?

If you didn’t have to work and you weren’t allowed to stay in the house, how would you choose to spend that time? Where would you go? In the evenings, many people like to relax and unwind.

However, unlimited free time often encourages people to fill the time in a productive manner. Write down a few ways you would spend your free time, and then try one out on your next day off.

  1. What makes you forget about the world around you?

When you are working on your life purpose, you often completely lose track of time. Often people don’t notice the hours passing by, and can even forget to eat or drink until they have finished. When is the last time you felt this way?

  1. What issues do you hold close to your heart?

What topics do you like to read about? Think about what interests you most on the news, online, or in the area you love. From the environment to finding new recipes, many people have passions that even they were unaware of.

If you are unsure, don’t feel disheartened – it can take a while for you to realize what you are passionate about, so spend some free time doing something that you find both enjoyable and productive, and eventually you will discover your life purpose.

  1. What kind of conversations do you have with your closest friends?

Most of the time when you are with your loved ones, you only discuss subjects that you actually find interesting and fun. Are there any subjects that you repeatedly bring up to talk about? This is often a great indicator of your life purpose.

As well as the subjects you love to discuss, think about the times your friends have come to you for advice. This shows the areas in which your friends class you as a valuable source of knowledge – it could be something you didn’t even realize you were good at!

  1. What is on your bucket list?

What do you want to accomplish before you die? Creating a bucket list is a great way to discover your life purpose, as the list will show you the activities you believe to be important and emotionally fulfilling.

  1. If you had a dream, could you make it happen?

Many people have dreams, but choose not to pursue them due to the financial risks or fear of failure. Start thinking about your dream in a more positive light, asking yourself ‘How can I make this happen?’ instead of telling yourself you won’t succeed.

Try to let go of negative thoughts that could hold you back from achieving your life purpose. Instead, try and do something every week that helps you to make your dreams come true.

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7 Personality Traits of a Great Leader

The qualities of skillful leadership

By: Jim Rohn

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent. Jim Rohn calls leadership the great challenge of life.

What’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here’s how:

  1. Learn to be strong but not impolite.It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It’s not even a good substitute.

  1. Learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake weakness for kindness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell someone the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

  1. Learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you’ve got to walk in front of your group. You’ve got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble. Like the farmer, if you want any rewards at harvest time, you have got to be bold and face the weeds and the rain and the bugs straight on. You’ve got to seize the moment.

  1. Learn to be humble but not timid. You can’t get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. But humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease. It’s an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem. Humility is almost a God-like word—a sense of awe, a sense of wonder, an awareness of the human soul and spirit, an understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we’re part of the stars.

  1. Learn to be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride to build your ambitions. It takes pride in your community. It takes pride in a cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is to be proud without being arrogant. Do you know the worst kind of arrogance? Arrogance from ignorance. It’s intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that’s just too much to take.

  1. Learn to develop humor without folly. In leadership, we learn that it’s OK to be witty but not silly; fun but not foolish.

  1. Learn to deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony of delusion. Just accept life as it is—the whole drama of life. It’s fascinating.

Life is unique. Leadership is unique. The skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. However, the fundamental skills of leadership can be adopted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community and at home.

 

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7 Mindsets That Will Radically Improve Your Life

Your mindset is as important as your best idea. Develop a good one, and you make everything in your life better immediately.

By: Lolly Daskal

Possibly more than any other single factor, your mindset determines your success.

What you think is what you become.

Internal dialogue–the ongoing conversation we all have with our mindset–is the driving force behind every success story, and also behind every failure.

The difference between who you are and who you want to be stems from your mindset.

Once you start to change your mindset, you will immediately start to change your behavior.

Here are seven mindsets that will radically improve your business and your life.

  1. Self-Trust Mindset

To do anything great, you have to be able to trust yourself and believe in your capabilities.

Success is not something that just happens but something you create. You have to have the confidence to banish any negative voices in your head. Don’t give up on the things you believe in–and most important, don’t give up on yourself.

  1. Goal-Setting Mindset

Knowing what you want and willing yourself to reach it are two different things. When you know your goals, they motivate you.

Remember, if it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you. Set high goals and don’t stop until you reach them.

  1. Patient Mindset

There’s a fine line between moving forward and standing still. The most successful people do all they can to move forward, but they also have the patience to wait and watch. Those who are impatient tend to lose out on great opportunities. Sometimes you have to wait for the right thing.

  1. Courageous Mindset

Doing anything great requires courage, but fear always has a way of showing up. Courage does not mean being unafraid; having courage and showing courage means facing your fears, saying “I am scared and I am moving forward anyway.” Courage is like a muscle you can strengthen with use.

  1. Focused Mindset

One of the worst setbacks that can happen is losing focus and allowing procrastination to step in. Important as it is, it’s difficult to be focused and disciplined. The best way is to stay in the here and now and to concentrate on everything going on in this particular moment.

Distraction wastes time, and procrastination keeps you from moving forward. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment, and a mindset of focus builds that bridge.

  1. Positive Mindset

Choosing to be positive and having a good attitude will determine a lot about your life. If you set your mind to positivity it can go a long way. Be positive, not passive. Instead of giving yourself reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t, give yourself reasons why you can and permission to go for it. Happiness doesn’t come from circumstances but always from within.

  1. Learning Mindset

Just because you are struggling, that doesn’t mean you’re not learning. Every failure has something to teach you, and everything you learn helps you grow. If you are unwilling to learn, no one can help you; if you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.

Every great success requires some kind of struggle, and good things really do come to those who work hard and struggle to pursue their goals and dreams they believe in. To radically change your life, you have to change yourself. Start building your new mindset today–think the thoughts that will help you move toward your goals right now.

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7 Million-Dollar Habits of the Super Successful (Short Version)

By: Joel Brown

Short Version by Amr Badran

Habit 1: Write Your “To-Do List,” The Night Before

The high achievers would write their to-do’s every evening before dinner or bed so they were prepared for the following day.

Habit 2: The Mind, Body & Soul

Ninety percent of the super-successful practice some form of physical concentration time or health focused activity at some point in their day.

Habit 3: Goal-Setting and Visualization

Ninety-five percent of the successful achievers I have interviewed practice writing down their goals, plans, or vision for success on a regular basis.

Habit 4: Gratitude and Positive Self Talk

Being grateful and focusing on the positive seems to be a common priority in the lives of the highly successful.

Habit 5: Self Development 

The super-successful focus heavily on learning new skills, reading practical books and listening or watching podcasts, interviews and informational courses.

Habit 6: Networking

The high achievers know and live by the saying, “Your network determines your net worth.”

Habit 7: Meetings and Accountability Sessions

Last, but not least, the seventh habit that was highly practiced by the uber successful was holding accountability calls each week and/or a coffee catch up with a mentor or business partner to hold each other accountable.

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7 Million-Dollar Habits of the Super Successful

By: Joel Brown

Do you remember the first time self development became important to you?

I do. I was 7 years old and I was in love with basketball. My mother had bought me a book called Rare Air, the autobiography of Michael Jordan.

Through this book, Michael Jordan brought me into his world. He shared stories of what inspired him, the emotions he felt, how he handled the failures and rejections and how he discovered his passion.

I was absolutely blown away and fired up after reading his book. It felt like my childhood hero was right there with me, teaching me about the importance of working on yourself and becoming the best you can possibly be.

I read this book every morning before school to be highly motivated for the day ahead.

Once that book was finished, I continued to read other books like 20 Ways to Make Pocket Money and Rich Dad, Poor Dad. As I made this motivation session part of my morning ritual, I noticed my belief, confidence and passion skyrocket.

I wanted to be just like these high achievers so I started waking up early, setting my goals and learning as much as I could about new skills and life each day. Little did I know that I was hard-wiring a series of positive unconscious actions that eventually led me to a life of multiple successes: Hosting radio shows, signing record deals, promotions to higher paying salaries, training with world-class experts, meetings with my idols, creating one of the top self-development websites in the world, being offered millions of dollars for my business and being featuring on the cover of magazines.

I became infatuated with the idea of growing and evolving as an individual so much so that over the past four years I’ve committed to interviewing hundreds of entrepreneurs, authors, celebrities, coaches and multimillionaires to find out what separates the super achievers from your every day “Average Joe.”

What I’ve come to discover is that a good 90 percent of the interviewe’s credit their success to the persisting energy bolts of action that we call “habits.”

So being the curious cat that I am, I decided to go a little deeper and squeeze the juice out of this new discovery.

I started asking each high achiever what their daily habits are that keep them on top. I then averaged their answers out to break it down into these 7 million-dollar habits:

Habit 1: Write Your “To-Do List,” The Night Before

The high achievers would write their to-do’s every evening before dinner or bed so they were prepared for the following day.

Prioritizing your “To-Do” list is the key to productivity success.

Action step: The super-successful make it a habit of numbering their to-do lists and you can do this, too, by simply ordering the “Most Important” first, placing a BIG Number 1 or a Star next to the activity, marking the importance of getting the task done first thing in the morning.

They then follow with the rest of the numbers, based on importance as they work their way down the list.

Habit 2: The Mind, Body & Soul

Ninety percent of the super-successful practice some form of physical concentration time or health focused activity at some point in their day.

Meditation seems to be a popular habit on the rise between the highly successful.

I was speaking to Deepak Chopra a few days ago and he was explaining to me why meditation is so important. He said that meditation increases the amount of rest you would normally achieve through sleep and is almost twice as effective as taking a nap.

Action step: Here are some of the most common practices listed below:

05 – 10 Minutes* – Breathing Exercises

15 – 20 Minutes* – Meditation

20 – 30 Minutes* – Eating Healthy

20 – 60 Minutes* – Exercise (The Gym, Skipping, Running,

                             Swimming, Cycling, Yoga)

*Time on average

Habit 3: Goal-Setting and Visualization

Ninety-five percent of the successful achievers I have interviewed practice writing down their goals, plans, or vision for success on a regular basis.

They usually practice this first thing in the morning to set their intentions and to prime their mental state to prepare them for a day of challenges on the road to success.

Multi-millionaire entrepreneur Grant Cardone even mentioned to me that he writes his 10X goals out multiple times during the day to stay focused on the massive outcomes he desires.

Action step: Deepak Chopra told me to keep in mind when you are setting your goals to:

– Stretch for more than you can reach.

– Make everything measurable.

– Get agreements from your team and supporters.

– Record your progress.

– And set time limits.

Habit 4: Gratitude and Positive Self Talk

Being grateful and focusing on the positive seems to be a common priority in the lives of the highly successful.

Something truly amazing that the best-selling author and neuroscientist Joe Dispenza shared with me is:

“If you’re saying affirmations like, ‘I am abundant, I am wonderful, I am unstoppable,’ but your emotional state is in fear, then your body is in opposition.

Thoughts are the language of the brain and feelings are the language of the body. Those thoughts will bounce off because they aren’t equal to the emotions of fear.

If a person feels gratitude, and has practiced it over and over authentically and they say affirmations like, ‘I am wonderful, I am incredible, I am unstoppable’ and so on… and it aligns with their autonomic nervous system then this is where the real power comes into play.”

Gratitudes are powerful, and a lot of people nowadays are catching on to this.

Actions step: Practice three gratitudes a day between you and a friend or partner, or just by yourself. Whatever helps you to stick to this positive habit.

But….here’s the key with sharing your gratitudes: You must justify why you are grateful, this strengthens the affect. So when you say your gratitude, do it this way: “I am grateful for having my partner in my life because, he/she always supports me and encourages me to follow my dreams no matter what.” This reminds you why and has a deeper affect in you than just a surface level statement.

Habit 5: Self Development 

The super-successful focus heavily on learning new skills, reading practical books and listening or watching podcasts, interviews and informational courses.

During a conversation with the best-selling author and leadership coach Simon Sinek, he said:

“My work is never complete, we wake up with a hunger to learn, and no one is ever truly an expert. Anyone who says, ‘I’m an expert at anything’ has closed their mind to the idea that they might not know everything.

There’s always more to learn. I’ve never considered myself an expert. I’m always a student of leadership. All the work is imperfect and all the learning is continuous.”

Action Step: If you can read 20 full pages a day, or even listen to an hour-long audio/podcast, that roughly equals more than 36+ books a year of new knowledge. Wow! (I learned that one from entrepreneur and habits coach James Clear.)

Habit 6: Networking

The high achievers know and live by the saying, “Your network determines your net worth.”

So they make it a habit to work on building new bridges, collaborating, helping others, attending social events, getting back to people and being a man (or woman) of their word.

Action Step: Make it a habit to meet at least one new person a day or making one follow up/catch up a day.

Habit 7: Meetings and Accountability Sessions

Last, but not least, the seventh habit that was highly practiced by the uber successful was holding accountability calls each week and/or a coffee catch up with a mentor or business partner to hold each other accountable.

Action Step: Find someone who is on a similar level to you in life and make a commitment between you and your accountability partner to hold a catch-up call or meeting once a week to share your achievements, struggles, new goals and what you have learned from the previous week.

This is a great way to stay motivated, knowing that you will have to come clean to your accountability buddy if you haven’t been sticking to your goals and habits.

As you can see there isn’t just one key habit that plays it’s part in the life of a successful high achiever. Many daily actions are in play.

If you are new to these habits then I would recommend starting with two to three habits and making them easy, short sessions so you don’t shock yourself out of the commitment. Just know:

Naturally this will feel uncomfortable to you until you can solidify it as a hard wired habit in your unconscious.

The key is to commit to at least two to three months of continuous implementation as your body adjusts to the new life you are creating and the habits you are conditioning.

Enjoy the process and make sure you throw in some fun habits, that focus on your mind body and soul also as balance is key to staying sane during this process.

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